• The citrus soda 7-UP was created in 1929; "7" was selected because the original containers were 7 ounces. "UP" indicated the direction of the bubbles.
• Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there.
• Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.
• The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as substitute for blood plasma.
• American car horns beep in the tone of F.
• No piece of paper can be folded more than 7 times.
• Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.
• 1 in every 4 Americans has appeared on television.
• You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.
• Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty years of age or older.
• The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.
• The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache.
• A Boeing 747s wingspan is longer than the Wright brother's first flight.
• American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating 1 olive from each salad served in first-class.
• Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
• The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA."
• Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.
• The 57 on the Heinz ketchup bottle represents the number of varieties of pickles the company once had.
• The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.
• Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.
• The first owner of the Marlboro company died of lung cancer.
• Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.
• Betsy Ross is the only real person to ever have been the head on a Pez dispenser.
• Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.
• Adolf Hitler's mother seriously considered having an abortion, but was talked out of it by her doctor.
• Marilyn Monroe had six toes.
• All US Presidents have worn glasses. Some just didn't like being seen wearing them in public.
• Walt Disney was afraid of mice.
• The sound of E.T. walking was made by someone squishing her hands in jelly.
• Debra Winger was the voice of E.T.
• Pearls melt in vinegar.
• It takes 3,000 cows to supply the NFL with enough leather for a year's supply of footballs.
• Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
• The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, CocaCola, and Budweiser, in that order.
• Richard Milhouse Nixon was the first US president whose name contains all the letters from the word "criminal." The second? William Jefferson Clinton

These are names of actual towns...

• Muff (Northern Ireland)
• Bastard (Norway)
• Twatt (Shetland, UK)
• Dildo (Newfoundland, Canada)
• Wankie (Zimbabwe)
• Climax (Colorado, USA), also in North Carolina     Hmmm... wonder where it is ;)
• Lickey End (West Midlands,UK)
• Shafter (California, USA)
• Dongo (Congo - Democratic Republic)
• Dong Rack (Thailand-Cambodia border)
• Donk (Belgium)
• Intercourse (Pennsylvania, USA)
• Brown Willy (every schoolboy's favourite, Cornwall,UK)
• Lord Berkeley's Knob (Sutherland, Scotland)
• Stains (Near Paris,France)
• Turdo (Romania)
• Fukum (Yemen)
• Fuku (Shensi, China)
• Wanks River (Nicaragua)
• Wankendorf (Schleswig-Holstein, Germany)
• Shag Island (Indian Ocean)
• Sexmoan (Luzon, Philippines)
• Hold With Hope (Greenland)
• Beaver (Oklahoma, USA)
• Beaver Head (Idaho, USA)
• Wet Beaver Creek (Australia)
• Pis Pis River (Nicaragua)
• Tittybong (Australia)
• Dikshit (India)
• Middle Intercourse Island (Australia)
• Chinaman's Knob (Australia)
• Gobbler's Knob (Kentucky, USA)

After being nearly snowbound for two weeks last winter, a Seattle man departed for his vacation in Miami Beach, where he was to meet his wife the next day at the conclusion of her business trip to Minneapolis.

They were looking forward to pleasant weather and a nice time together.

Unfortunately, there was some sort of mix up at the boarding gate, and the man was told he would have to wait for a later flight. He tried to appeal to a supervisor but was told the airline was not responsible for the problem and it would do no good to complain.

Upon arrival at the hotel the next day, he discovered that Miami Beach was having a heat wave, and its weather was almost as uncomfortably hot as Seattle's was cold. The desk clerk gave him a message that his wife would arrive as planned. He could hardly wait to get to the pool area to cool off, and quickly sent his wife an e-mail, but due to his haste, he made an error in the address. His message therefore arrived at the home of an elderly preacher's wife whose even older husband had died only the day before.

When the grieving widow opened her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out an anguished scream, and fell to the floor dead. Her family rushed to her room where they saw this message on the screen:

Dearest wife,

Departed yesterday as you know. Just now got checked in. Some confusion at the gate. Appeal was denied. Received confirmation of your arrival tomorrow.

Your loving husband.

P.S. Things are not as we thought. You're going to be surprised at how hot it is down here.

18. You don't have to sneak your golf magazines into the house.
17. If you are having trouble with golf, it's perfectly acceptable to pay a professional to show you how to improve your technique.
16. The Ten Commandments don't say anything about golf.
15. If your partner takes pictures or videotapes of you golfing, you don't have to worry about them showing up on the Internet when you become famous.
14. Your golf partner won't keep asking questions about other partners you've golfed with.
13. It's perfectly respectable to golf with a total stranger.
12. When you see a really good golfer, you don't have to feel guilty about imagining the two of you golfing together.
11. If your regular golf partner isn't available, he/she won't object if you golf with someone else.
10. Nobody will ever tell you that you can go blind if you golf by yourself.
9. When dealing with a golf pro, you never have to wonder if they are really an undercover cop.
8. You don't have to go to a sleazy shop in a seedy neighborhood to buy golf stuff.
7. You can have a golf calendar on your wall at the office, tell golf jokes, and invite coworkers to golf with you without getting sued for harassment.
6. There's no such thing as a golf transmitted disease.
5. If you want to watch golf on television, you don't have to subscribe to a premium cable channel.
4. Nobody expects you to promise to golf with just one partner for the rest of your life.
3. Nobody expects you to give up golfing if your partner loses interest in the game.
2. You don't have to be a newlywed to plan a vacation primarily for the enjoyment of golf.
1. Your golf partner will never say, "What? We just golfed last week! Is that all you ever think about?"

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

• Smart man + smart woman = romance
• Smart man + dumb woman = affair
• Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
• Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

• Smart boss + smart employee = profit
• Smart boss + dumb employee = production
• Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
• Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH

• A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
• A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

• A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
• A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
• A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
• A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
• To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
• To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
• Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
• Any married man should forget his mistakes; there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
• Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
• A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
• A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
• A woman has the last word in any argument.
• Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
• There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman: Before marriage and after marriage