WEIRD FACTS 101... Weird Things You Might Not Know!!

• Butterflies taste with their feet.
• A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
• In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's nuclear weapons combined.
• On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.
• On average people fear spiders more than they do death.
• Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants.
• Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
• Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
• Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
• It's possible to lead a cow upstairs... but not downstairs.
• Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
• The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.
• A snail can sleep for three years.
• No word in the English language rhymes with "MONTH."
• Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.
• Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
• The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
• All polar bears are left handed.
• In ancient Egypt, priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes.
• An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
• TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
• A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
• "Go" is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
• If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand seven feet, two inches tall.
• The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
• Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
• The citrus soda 7-UP was created in 1929; "7" was selected because the original containers were 7 ounces. "UP" indicated the direction of the bubbles.
• Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there.
• Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.
• The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for blood plasma.
• American car horns beep in the tone of F.
• No piece of paper can be folded more than 7 times.
• Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.
• 1 in every 4 Americans has appeared on television.
• You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.
• Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty years of age or older.
• The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.
• The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache.
• A Boeing 747s wingspan is longer than the Wright brother's first flight.
• American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating 1 olive from each salad served in first-class.
• Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
• The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen's "Born In The USA."
• Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.
• The 57 on the Heinz ketchup bottle represents the number of varieties of pickles the company once had.
• The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.
• Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.
• The first owner of the Marlboro company died of lung cancer.
• Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.
• Betsy Ross is the only real person to ever have been the head on a Pez dispenser.
• Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.
• Adolf Hitler's mother seriously considered having an abortion but was talked out of it by her doctor.
• Marilyn Monroe had six toes.
• All US Presidents have worn glasses. Some just didn't like being seen wearing them in public.
• Walt Disney was afraid of mice.
• The sound of E.T. walking was made by someone squishing her hands in jelly.
• Debra Winger was the voice of E.T.
• Pearls melt in vinegar.
• It takes 3,000 cows to supply the NFL with enough leather for a year's supply of footballs.
• The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, CocaCola, and Budweiser, in that order.
• The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the days when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and figured out how to walk up straight staircases

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him, but was moved byArthur's youthful happiness. So he offered him freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer; if, after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.

The question was: What do women really want?

Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and, to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. Well, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everybody: the princess, the prostitutes, the priests, the wise men, and the court jester. In all, he spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.

What most people did tell him was to consult the old witch, as only she would know the answer. The price would be high, since the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no alternative but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer his question, but he'd have to accept her price first:

The old witch wanted to marry Gawain, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend! Young Arthur was horrified: she was hunchbacked and awfully hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage water, often made obscene noises...etc. He had never run across such a repugnant creature. He refused to force his friend to marry her and have to endure such a burden.

Gawain, upon learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He told him that nothing was too big a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table. Hence, their wedding was proclaimed, and the witch answered Arthur's question:

What a woman really wants is to be able to be in charge of her own life.

Everyone instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it went. The neighboring monarch spared Arthur's life and granted him total freedom.

What a wedding Gawain and the witch had! Arthur was torn between relief and anguish. Gawain was proper as always, gentle and courteous. The old witch put her worst manners on display, and generally made everyone very uncomfortable.

The wedding night approached: Gawain, steeling himself for a horrific night, entered the bedroom. What a sight awaited!

The most beautiful woman he'd ever seen lay before him! Gawain was astounded and asked what had happened. The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her (when she'd been a witch), half the time she would be her horrible, deformed self, and the other half, she would be her beautiful maiden self. Which would he want her to be during the day, and which during the night?

What a cruel question! Gawain began to think of his predicament:

During the day a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his home, an old spooky witch? Or would he prefer having by day a hideous witch, but by night a beautiful woman to enjoy many intimate moments?

What would you do? What Gawain chose follows below, but don't read until you've made your own choice.

Noble Gawain replied that he would let her choose for herself.

Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time, because he had respected her and had let her be in charge of her own life.

What is the moral of this story?

The moral is that it doesn't matter if your woman is pretty or ugly, underneath it all, she's still a witch... and don't you forget it!

President Bush is representing the United States of America on a highly formal, orchestrated state visit to England. Air Force One stops at a bright red carpet along which the President strides to join Queen Elizabeth II in a beautiful, ornate 17th century coach hitched to 6 enormous matched white horses. The coach proceeds through the streets of London en route to Buckingham Palace, the Queen and the President waving to the cheering throngs. Then suddenly the right rear horse produces a thunderous, cataclysmic fart that reverberates through the air and rattles the doors of the coach.

Uncomfortable, the reaction of the two powerful figures is to focus their attentions elsewhere and behave as if nothing extraordinary had happened. But, the Queen is the first to realize that ignoring what had just happened is ridiculous. She explains, "Mr. President, please accept my regrets - I'm sure you understand that there are some things that even a Queen cannot control."

President Bush replies, "Your Majesty, please don't give the matter another thought -- you know, if you hadn't said something, I would have thought it was one of the horses."

We at Carnival Cruise Lines didn't forget that a lot of entertainers had promised to leave the country if George W. Bush became President. With that in mind, we have a special offer for those who want to keep their promise!

Attention: Would Alec Baldwin, Rosie O'Donnell, Cher, Phil Donahue, David Gephin, Barbra Streisand, Pierre Salinger, and anyone else who made the promise, please report to Florida for the sailing of the funship cruise, Elation, which has been commissioned to take you to your new vacation homes.

Prior to the cruise and in your honor the Florida Supreme Court will sponsor a Farewell Parade through Palm Beach, Broward, and Miami-Dade counties.

Please pack for an extended stay...at least four years. Your captain is to be Bill Clinton and your cruise director will be Al Gore. Monica Lewinsky will be your recreation director and Ted Kennedy will act as lifeguard and supervise swimming instruction. He will also teach a course in emergency procedures. Your spiritual advisor will be the Rev. Jesse Jackson.

If you have any questions about making arrangements for your homes, friends and loved ones, please direct your comments to Senator Clinton. Her village can raise your children while you're gone, and she can watch over all your money and furnishings until you return.

A widow was feeling rather lonely and decided that the best thing for her would be to have a companion. So, off she went to the pet shop. She wasn't sure just what kind of pet she'd like, so she figured she'd just walk around until she found just the 'right one.' She went past the adorable little puppies, past the playful kittens, past the preening birds, past the sleeping hamsters, past the whirling gerbils, and past the colorful fish.

Nothing really appealed to her and seemed to be just what she was looking for. She decided to go around the store again. On the way over to the puppies, she walked by a barrel. At the bottom of the barrel was a rather nasty looking toad. When she looked in, he WINKED at her! Our poor widow just shook herself! She couldn't believe it. She rather quickly went back to the other pets on display.

Once again, she checked out those sweet little puppies, the darling kittens, the fluttering birds, the fuzzy hamsters, the sleek gerbils, and the darting fish. Nothing really, really did it for her. She was starting to get discouraged. So, she figured one last time around, just in case she missed something.

Going by the barrel again, she took another peek. There was that nasty toad, and this time, he puckered up and threw her a kiss!! This was almost too much for the poor widow and she just about ran over to the other pets.

She tried hard to find just the right one to take home with her, but not one of those cute puppies or silky kittens or chirping birds or golden hamsters or skinny gerbils or fancy fish seemed right for her. Totally discouraged by now, the widow decide to go home.

On the way out of the shop, she had to walk past the barrel again. As she furtively peeked in, the toad just gave her the most beseeching look, and he had a little tear on the corner of his eye. He even sniffed a bit. This was too much for our widow, she started heading for the exit in a hurry.

All of a sudden it struck her that this poor toad was probably just as lonely as she was. Not only that, but he was so ugly that no one would probably buy him, especially not with all the other nice pets available. So up to the counter she marched, told the salesperson she'd take the toad, but requested that he be put in a sturdy box. When she got to her car, she placed the box on the seat next to her and proceeded to drive home.

As she was driving along, she heard some scratching coming from the box. She tried to ignore it for a bit, but then thought that the toad might need some air, so she opened the box a bit. She would glance over at the toad from time to time, and he kept winking at her and throwing her kisses. She finally thought, "Oh heck, what could it hurt?" and she leaned over and KISSED him!

And POOF! He turned into a HANDSOME PRINCE!!!

And do you know what our poor widow turned into?...

The first motel she came to!

MONEY:

• It can buy a House, but not a Home.
• It can buy a Bed, but not Sleep.
• It can buy a Clock, but not Time.
• It can buy you a Book, but not Knowledge.
• It can buy you a Position, but not Respect.
• It can buy you Medicine, but not Health.
• It can buy you Blood, but not Life.
• It can buy you Sex, but not Love.

And it often causes pain and suffering. I tell you all this because I am your friend, and as your Friend I want to take away your pain and suffering...

So send me all of your money, and I will suffer for you.

He and Cheney are having lunch at a diner near the White House.

Cheney orders the "Heart-Healthy" salad.

Bush leans over to the waitress and says "Honey, could I have a quickie?" She's horrified!

She says, "Mr. President, I thought your administration would bring a new era of moral rectitude to the White House. Now I see I was wrong and I'm sorry I voted for you," and she marches off.

Cheney leans over and says "George, I think it's pronounced 'QUICHE'".

In a recent FDA study, the United States government doctors who were conducting studies on test drugs administered weekly doses of VIAGRA to an equal number of doctors and lawyers.

While the majority of the doctors achieved enhanced sexual prowess, the lawyers simply grew taller.

The researchers are at a loss to explain the phenomenon.