A man walks up to a woman in his office each day, stands very close to her, draws in a large breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice. After a week of this, she can't stand it any longer, and goes to Human Resources. Without identifying the guy, she tells them what the coworker does, and that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against him. The HR supervisor is puzzled by this approach, and asks, "What's sexually threatening about a coworker telling you your hair smells nice?" The woman replies, "It's Keith, the midget."

Two elderly ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.

The other lady asked, "What's that?"

"A condom," the first lady responded. "This way my cigarette doesn't get wet."

"Where did you get it?" the other lady asked.

"You can get them at any drugstore."

The next day, the second lady hobbled herself down to the local drugstore and announced to the pharmacist that she wanted a box of condoms. The guy looked at her kind of strangely, but politely asked what brand she preferred.

She shrugged her shoulders and replied, "It doesn't matter as long as it fits a Camel."