The author is allegedly a black man from Texas.

On Being Colored:

When I born, I black. When I grow up, I black. When I go in sun, I black. When I cold, I black. When I scared, I black. When I sick, I black. And when I die, I still black.

You white folks... when you born, you pink. When you grow up, you white. When you go in sun, you red. When you cold, you blue. When you scared, you yellow. When you sick, you green. And when you die, you gray.

So who the hell you callin' colored?

An old man approached the White House from the park across Pennsylvania Ave. where he'd been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the U. S. Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President Clinton." The Marine looked at the man and said, "Sir, Mr. Clinton is no longer president and no longer resides here." The old man said, Okay," and walked away.

The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Clinton." The Marine again told the man, "Sir, Mr.. Clinton is no longer president and no longer resides here." The man thanked him and, again, just walked away.

The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same U. S. Marine, saying "I would like to go in and meet with President Clinton." The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mr.. Clinton; I've told you already that Mr. Clinton is no longer the president and no longer resides here. Don't you understand?" The old man looked at the Marine and said, "Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it." The Marine snapped to attention, saluted and said, "See you tomorrow, Sir!"

Stevie Wonder and Jack Nicklaus are in a bar. Nicklaus turns to Wonder and says, "How is the record business going?"

Stevie Wonder says, "Not too bad. The latest album has gone into the top 10, so all in all I think it is pretty good. By the way, how's the golf?"

Nicklaus replies, "Not too bad. I'm not winning as much as I used to, but I'm still making a bit of money. I have had some problems with my swing but I think I've got that under control now."

Stevie Wonder says, "I always find that when my swing goes wrong I need to stop playing for a while and not think about it, then the next time I play it seems to be all right."

Jack Nicklaus says, "You play golf!?"

Stevie Wonder says, "Oh, I have been playing for years."

And Nicklaus says, "But I thought you were blind, how can you play golf if you are blind?"

He replies, "I get my caddy to stand in the middle of the fairway and he calls to me. I listen for the sound of his voice and play the ball towards him, then when I get to where the ball lands, the caddy moves to the green or further down the fairway, and again I play the ball towards his voice."

"But how do you putt?" asks Nicklaus.

"Well", says Stevie, "I get my caddy to lean down in front of the hole and call to me with his head on the ground, and I just play the ball towards his voice."

Nicklaus says, "What is your handicap?"

Stevie says, "Well, I play off scratch."

Nicklaus is incredulous and he says to Stevie, "We must play a game sometime."

Wonder replies, "Well, people don't take me seriously so I only play for money, and I never play for less than $100,000 a hole."

Nicklaus thinks about it and says, "OK, I'm up for that - when would you like to play?"

"Any night next week is ok with me."