This will twist your mind!

The year is 1903... one hundred years ago... what a difference a century makes! Here are some of the U.S. statistics for 1902:

• The average life expectancy in the U.S. was 47 years.
• Only 14 Percent of the homes in the U.S. had a bathtub.
• Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.
• A three-minute call from Denver to New York City cost eleven dollars.
• There were only 8,000 cars in the U.S., and only 144 miles of paved roads.
• The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.
• Alabama, Mississippi, Iowa, and Tennessee were each more heavily populated than California. With a mere 1.4 million residents, California was only the 21st- most populous state in the Union. The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower.
• The average wage in the U.S. was 22 cents an hour.
• The average U.S. worker made between $200 and $400 per year.
• A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year, a dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.
• More than 95 percent of all births in the U.S. took place at home.
• Ninety percent of all U.S. physicians had no college education. Instead, they attended medical schools, many of which were condemned in the press and by the government as "substandard."
• Sugar cost four cents a pound. Eggs were fourteen cents and Coffee cost fifteen cents a pound.
• Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used borax or egg yolks for shampoo.
• Canada passed a law prohibiting poor people from entering the country for any reason.
• The five leading causes of death in the U.S. were:
1. Pneumonia and influenza
2. Tuberculosis
3. Diarrhea
4. Heart disease
5. Stroke
• The American flag had 45 stars. Arizona, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Hawaii, and Alaska hadn't been admitted to the Union yet.
• The population of Las Vegas, Nevada, was 30.
• Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and iced tea hadn't been invented.
• There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.
• One in ten U.S. adults couldn't read or write. Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated high school.
• Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at corner drugstores. According to one pharmacist, "Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind, regulates the stomach and the is, in a perfect guardian of health."
• 18 percent of households in the U.S. had at least one servant or one domestic.
• There were only about 230 reported murders in the entire U.S.
• Just think what it will be like in another 100 years. It boggles the mind.....

One day, three men were hiking and unexpectedly came upon a large raging, violent river. They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea of how to do so.

The first man prayed to God, saying, "Please God, give me the strength to cross this river."

Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs, and he was able to swim across the river in about two hours, after almost drowning a couple of times.

Seeing this, the second man prayed to God, saying, "Please God, give me the strength...and the tools to cross this river."

Poof! God gave him a rowboat and he was able to row across the river in about an hour, after almost capsizing the boat a couple of times.

The third man had seen how this worked out for the other two, so he also prayed to God saying, "Please God, give me the strength and the tools... and the intelligence... to cross this river."

And poof! God turned him into a woman. She looked at the map, hiked upstream a couple of hundred yards, then walked across the bridge.

The Food and Drug Administration has just announced the following drugs have been released for trial in the US. These are the newest medications for women, available only by prescription.

DAMITOL

Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 hours.

ST. MOM'S WORT

Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.

EMPTYNESTROGEN

Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

PEPTOBIMBO

Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting.

DUMEROL

When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low I.Q. causing enjoyment of country western music.

FLIPITOR

Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

MENICILLIN

Potent antiboyotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person... can we do it now?"

BUYAGRA

Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree.

Extra Strength BUY-ONE-AL

When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a Donnie Osmond CD or a book by Dr. Laura.

JACKASSPIRIN

Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.

SEXCEDRIN

More effective than Excedrin in treating the, "Not now, dear, I have a headache," syndrome.

NAGAMET

When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as nagging at him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.

Driving to a new restaurant, Jill took several wrong turns.

When she finally found the right road, she asked her husband, "Why didn't you tell me I was lost?"

"I thought you knew where you were going," he replied. "You always know where you're going when I'm driving."