Life isn't like a box of chocolates...
It's more like a jar of jalapenos.
What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.

You don't have to own a cat for this one... but it helps...

A couple was dressed and ready to go out for the evening. They turned on a night light, turned on the answering machine, covered the pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. They phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi.

When the taxi arrived and the couple opened the front door to leave their house, the cat they had put out into the yard shot back into the house. They didn't want the cat shut in the house because "she" always tried to eat the bird. The wife went out to the taxi while the husband went inside to get the cat. The cat ran upstairs, the man in hot pursuit.

The wife, who didn't want the driver to know that the house would be empty, explained to the taxi driver that her husband would be out soon. "He's just going upstairs to say good-bye to my mother."

A few minutes later, the husband got i! nto the cab. "Sorry I took so long," he said, as they drove away. "The stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out, then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me, but it worked. I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out in the back yard!"

It was at this point that the cabdriver hit a parked car

USA Today in its 3/10/03 edition had a large article on two Cowboy Churches in Texas. They printed the Cowboy's Ten Commandments posted on the wall at Cross Trails Church in Fairlie, Texas. It was too good not to pass along.

Think if we all used these instead of the one with all the "shalt nots" in it, we could probably understand and live up to them a lot better!

• Just one God.
• Honor yer Ma & Pa.
• No telling tales or gossipin'.
• Git yourself to Sunday meeting.
• Put nothin' before God.
• No foolin' around with another fellow's gal.
• No killin'.
• Watch yer mouth.
• Don't take what ain't yers.
• Don't be hankerin' for yer buddy's stuff

Guess cowboys just kinda tell it like it is!!!!

Y'all have a good day now.